so if you had 9 days left to look your best at a pool party…

"When life gives you lemons – just say ‘fuck the lemons’ and bail"

when life gives you lemons paint that shit gold
I love this time of year.

I’d use those 9 days to invent a time machine and go back a few months to cut as much weight as possible.

do abs every day non-stop and don’t eat or drink water.
umm… starve for 6 days while eating nothing but diet pills and coke zero. then for 3 days only drink laxatives and whiskey. if you can get to day 9 without dying, youll be the first. but damn if everyone else didn’t look sexy lying in the ER.

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